So drunk its hurt
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Randomize
