so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
