i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
