I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
