Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
