We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
