question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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