we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
