I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
