this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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