i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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