If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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