so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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