Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Houston, we have a blender
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
