Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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