Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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