The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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