You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
