he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
