Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
