Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
