I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
