Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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