i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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