The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
