Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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