Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
