Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
