Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
