I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
