So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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