Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
