Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
