I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
