You're completely useless in the revolution.
vagina is talking i cant
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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