Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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