she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
