so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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