You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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