YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
