If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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