if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you đ
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled âfive times and I still havenât gotten offâ when he was still inside me ..
Said âdonât worry Iâll get myself off tomorrowâ to top it all off
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