Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize