it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
