That's intense
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
