He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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