so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
