My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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