My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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