The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize