the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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