The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
