Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
