well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just found puke in my bra..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
