drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
