White coat. Heels.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
