1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
