Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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