What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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