He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
