i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
