Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
