Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
