I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
