wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
